An Accidental Mother by Katherine Anne Kindred

Author:Katherine Anne Kindred
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Unbridled Books
Published: 2011-06-20T16:00:00+00:00

Still, I struggle with the day-to-day ordinary ways in which I fear I will screw up the child. When I hear him telling his sister that he can’t play a certain game with her because he’s “too busy,” I realize that I have been telling him the same thing all weekend long while cleaning house and doing laundry. When he un-characteristically punches the sofa when he isn’t getting his way, I question whether it is because he’s cranky and tired from staying up too late the night before or whether we have inadvertently turned him toward a life of violence because he received a spanking when he was four. I wonder what he will remember most as an adult—the red ketchup smiley faces I drew on his plate or the red time-out chair?

From time to time I voice these concerns with the other moms at the bus stop, who, although younger, are more experienced than I because they all have multiple children, most of whom are older than Michael.

“It takes him forever to get ready in the morning,” I say. “He can’t remember the simplest of tasks.”

“Boys are always getting distracted; it’s normal that they are unable to remember what you just told them to do,” one mother tells me. “Starting a chore chart on a chalkboard might help. If they do their chores, they get an allowance. Then you divide the allowance into one of three jars: one for spending, one for saving, and one for charity.”

When Michael was four we had a chore chart with smiley-face stickers. It had such grave responsibilities as putting away his toys and taking his dinner plate to the counter. He got an allowance for it, but none of us (including Michael) remembered to follow it on a daily basis, and somehow it fell by the wayside. I want him to learn about money and responsibilities, give him a start at learning good fiscal habits at a young age, and I want to help him understand the importance of saving before spending. But I didn’t know I was supposed to have jars. And now I have dropped the ball in teaching him about not only money but the importance of charity.

To add to my guilt, I am the only mother at the bus stop who is required to work, meaning Michael is the only child who has to go to after-school care. The other moms spend their days taking yoga and spin classes before going to volunteer at the school; they pick their kids up when class is over and cart their multiple children around to swim meets and sporting events. I signed Michael up for keyboard classes and golf partly because they meet on the school grounds after classes let out—no carting around required. In the summers these same mothers take their children to the beach for a month-long vacation while Michael is stuck in day care three, sometimes four days a week. What on earth do these neighborhood fathers do for

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